Feeling Like A Chicken...

They played us music as we ate :)

The Santos/Collaguazo family.. one of the strongest that I know.

           So there is a reason that I have not updated on what’s been going on. However, I can’t really write too much about it because it’s some personal stuff. I haven’t really been doing much of anything the last two weeks, so you haven’t missed too much. There were some good days, but the majority of the past two weeks hasn’t been so great.

            I’ve been trying to get myself in a routine, but it’s extremely difficult. I find it hard to sleep at night and equally hard to wake up in the morning. Nights here give me a bit of anxiety, and I’ve already had a few night terrors (these are NOT nightmares, so if you don’t know what they are, look them up) and bad dreams...

            However, it hasn’t been ALL bad. The last Saturday I wrote I didn’t really do anything, but on Sunday I went to church. It was funny to be back in an Ecuadorian church atmosphere, but it was pretty awkward. They just recently incorporated a band, and I spent a lot of time trying not to think in my head of all of the things that were wrong. I am grateful for the organization that we have in America—the fact that we practice a lot in worship teams (I’ve been a part of many practices), have specific themes or messages in church that I can actually understand, and that I can sit comfortably in an American church. But I have to remember that my time here isn’t about just being comfortable. I’m here to see if this is something I may want to do for the rest of my life. So far I haven’t been that encouraged.

            Also, outside of the church I made a new friend. He was one of the cutest street dogs I’ve ever seen, and every time I see one I just want to bring it home with me. Santy told me that some of the dogs actually have homes, but you wouldn’t know that. They are so dirty and all skin and bones that you would think it to just be a street dog. It frustrates me, too, that a good amount of people don’t appear to take care of their animals.

            After church we had to get ready for a dinner at Santy’s house, which happens pretty frequently. I do have to say, Santiago’s family is one of the strongest that I have ever seen. It consists of Santiago and his three brothers and just his mom. His mom has cancer and goes through bouts of chemo every few weeks. She has lost all of her hair and a lot of her physical strength, but she hasn’t lost her hospitality. They constantly have people over, especially if someone is leaving. Often times an American from El Refugio (the camp they work at and where I met Santy) is leaving to go back to America so they have a goodbye party.

            This time it was that Santy’s aunt was returning to Italy. It was also a split “welcome” party for me. So a lot of Santiago’s family came, and we ate. I noticed that Ecuadorians will pretty much laugh at anything. Your joke doesn’t even have to be really funny, but they’ll laugh. I’m not sure if it’s just to be polite or if they do really find humor in everything. It could be both. Either way, it was pretty fun, and we laughed a lot.

            The next day, which was Monday, (I’ve lost track of time since being here) we went to Condado, the big shopping place to get groceries. I was surprised to only spend like $60 on my food, and I bought a lot!

            We got home and put everything away, and I decided to play some guitar. As I was playing, Rebeca came in to hear me. She came and sat on my bed and started playing the strings. So while I played the chords, she played the strings; it was a cute moment. She also took a bunch of cute pictures on my new camera.

            One of the things that I really enjoy about Ecuadorians is the fact that they are so crafty. Maybe I’m just unaware of these things, but they always seem to know what to do. Like with the whole not having water thing, they know that they can just get a bucket of water to flush the toilet with. Well, another thing was when my computer charger broke. I’d been telling my dad that the charger on my computer was starting to wear. The cable that connects to the box was no longer charging my computer, so Santiago actually cut the cable and somehow put it back together, and now it works. It was crazy!

            The next day, which was Tuesday, the 28th, was the hard day. Santiago had to work all day, so I was left to do my own thing for most of the day. He packed me a lunch of tacos and quesadillas in the fridge because he knew he wouldn’t be there to cook for me. Then I had to do the long trek to his house by myself, which isn’t that pleasant, but I made it more pleasant by taking a million different pictures of the beautiful nature that surrounded me. It helped that my camera is pretty awesome.

            Basically for most of the week I spent my days secluded, watching “Secret Life of the American Teenager”. The season finale and last episode ever was this past week, and I had missed most of the last season. So, using a website I found, I caught up on all the episodes. I didn’t really feel like talking to anyone or doing anything else, so that’s what I did.

            That night Santiago and I both found out a lot of things that could have potentially destroyed our relationship. My blog is not the place to write that, so I’ll just say that it was a really hard week for the both of us. It came to a point where I hadn’t seen my host family in days, and I hadn’t talked to my actual family in America in a while, either. Essentially I just didn’t really feel like doing much, but we’ve been making it through. Spiritual attacks have left us broken, but not completely down!

            Last Friday was the first day I really got out again. Friday was also my attempt at making homemade pasta sauce. Unfortunately, the tomato paste I bought was too overpowering, so I didn’t like it. Next time I’m making it all homemade with tomatoes!

            So after a good fish dinner, I went to Friday night “Bible Study” church with Santiago, where we have worship and then Santy gives a message. His message was about who God was, and then he gave room at the end for people to ask questions.

            Afterwards we had coffee and cookies. It was the first time I had coffee in Ecuador, and even though it was instant, it was so nice to have coffee. I’m not one of those people that just drinks coffee to wake up but because I actually like the taste (which was a very recent discovery)!

            After church we went back to Santy’s, where I hung out with his family and our friends, showing them pictures and videos. I was with our mutual friend, Jhonatan, Santy’s brothers, and Santy’s sweet little cousin, Esteven, who I just met recently and adore!

            Santiago had class on Saturday, so I did the same thing as always and walked to his house alone until he came back. When he came back he had to teach a class at church, so I spent a lot of the day alone again.

            Sunday, June 2nd, was our one year anniversary. We didn’t make it to church because I woke up having gotten barely any sleep, AND there was no water. When there was finally water I was able to shower and get ready. Santy brought me roses and my favorite chocolates, Ferrero Rochettes, and after many pictures, we walked to get the bus. On the way, our missionary friend, Erica, stopped and chatted with us. Santy talked to her in English, and she was so surprised. I was so proud of him!

            She gave us a ride to Pomasqui, which is the town she lives in, and Santy and I had pizza at a cute little place we’ve been to before, but in a different location. We always get a cheeseburger and fries and a cheese pizza to share, but upon giving us the cheeseburger, I found that they put mayonnaise on it. I am quite aware how much Ecuadorians love mayonnaise, but didn’t encounter this the other times I went to the same restaurant. The location must have done it differently, and Santiago told me that, if you give it back, you pay for it… even if you order a new one or ask for something else. This was extremely frustrating because, being in the Pisarro family we like to complain until we get what we asked for. That being said, the fact that I couldn’t complain or ask for what I ordered was extremely annoying to me. So I let Santiago eat the cheeseburger, and I ate most of the pizza.

            After lunch we went to Quito, the capital city. We walked around most of the day, looking at shops and different historical things. Santy gave me some history of certain buildings and acted as my tour guide for the day. I also saw a sign for a missing teenage boy, and I began asking Santy about that kind of thing in Ecuador. My mom would be pretty interested in hearing some of the stories he’s told me about missing people and murders and stuff. There aren’t many, don’t worry, but there are some interesting things. I’ve seen the poster for this missing boy several times, as it just happened a few weeks ago, and every time I see it, I feel a little sad for him. A lot of missing people don’t make it out alive.

            So once we had walked a sufficient amount we were pretty hungry. We searched for about an hour and a half for a place to eat. Santiago realized that, on Sundays, apparently everything closes early, so his plan to eat at the nice places he knew of was botched. This ended up being okay as we finally found an incredible restaurant that a taxi took us to. I think it was God’s idea all along to bring us there because it was wonderful.

            We walked in and were the only people there. They seated us at a two person table with a white rose, a lamp with a lit candle underneath, and a beautifully decorated restaurant surrounding us. They gave us some bread and some kind of meat to start with, and Santy ordered some kind of sweet potato pancakes or something as an appetizer. We ordered strawberry juice, Sprite, and cherry coke, and they also gave us seltzer water.

            I was surprised to see that the bathrooms were gorgeous, too! When I walked in, there were several mini bathrooms surrounding me. The only other time I have seen this was at the Cairn formal a year ago in Pennsauken. The big bathroom had a bunch of mini bathrooms, which had their own sinks and everything. It was so clean and so nice!

            Santiago ended up ordering some kind of pork, and I ordered fried shrimp which came with French fries. Both were delicious, but what really made the meal were the five men who came and surrounded us as we ate. They each had a unique instrument and were dressed in total Ecuadorian garb—vests with llamas on them and colorful hats. It was wonderful. They had Hispanic guitars and drums and those windpipe things that sound like whistles. They played us beautiful music and even let us take a picture with them (see above). At this point a few other couples showed up, and funnily enough, out of the few others, there was an American couple speaking English there, too.

            After dinner, we ordered dessert.. a lot of dessert! I got this double chocolate mousse cake, while Santiago, of course, got a cup of fruit. Then we ordered a banana split to share, and it was delicious. I could tell that the ice cream was not regular ice cream, but was some kind of frozen yogurt. It was not only a banana split, but there were several other fruits, as well! I spotted pieces of cantaloupe, watermelon, and melon. They also put hot fudge (the good kind!), whipped cream, and wafers on top. One of the wafers was shaped like a heart, too.

            Once our wonderful meal was over, the restaurant ordered us a taxi to bring us to Condado, where Erica and her husband Ryan were going to pick us up. On the ride back with them we talked, and Santy used his English. They were so impressed that they asked him to be a facilitator in El Refugio in English! Santy’s been facilitating (basically like a small group leader and guide) for years in Spanish, and is now going to start training in English!

            The next day was much like the others, except that my wonderful cousin, Esteven, brought me a gift from Yunguilla, one of my favorite places in Ecuador and where he lives. He brought me strawberry jam, which I have yet to try but am sure it’s pretty good! I may save it and not open it until in America so my family can try some!

            This past Tuesday was another goodbye party. One of the missionaries, Dan, and his wife from El Refugio are returning to America. So we hung out with them and ate llapingachos. It was nice to talk to them in English! It was a pretty good time.

            So the last few days I have spent a good amount of time with Santiago’s family just talking and hanging out. Santiago’s been working and whatnot, so I spent a lot of time on my own, too. I’ve done a lot of devotionals the past two weeks from Jesus Calling, which has been a blessing. I do the same thing I did last year and bring my devotional outside where I sit on the grass and read. At one point I watched all the farm animals around me, seeing one of the chickens with a rope tied to his foot which tied to a spick in the ground to keep him from running away. It sounds silly, but I felt like that chicken—completely stuck and unable to move or get away.

            The last few weeks have been hard on me, and I thought I would get some rest from the “dark times” after having an entire year full of them (and not to even mention the darkness I experienced before that). Yet that wasn’t exactly what God had in mind for me. I keep thinking about how joyful I was last year and how thankful I was for everything. This year I feel like I’ve become complacent and don’t really enjoy much of anything right now. This may seem a little depressing, but this is the “dark” side of being here. I just thought all my friends should know that, although I’ve had some great memories, it’s been really difficult, and that’s why I haven’t written. I know the next few months will be a stretch for me, but I’m confident that I can break through the difficulties and really experience God again here in Ecuador.