Learning Gratefulness

Learning Gratefulness

7/3/12

            Friday after I last wrote, Santiago and I came home to eat our fish! They were delicious! Before I eat (and even while I was eating), Rebecca kept asking me to play with her. Basically she always goes, “ALLIE! Look!” This really means, “Allie, play with me!”

            On Saturday Santiago and I went to get pizza before the party. I am starting to really love the pizza here! As usual, Santiago got a cheeseburger and fries, and I got pizza, so we shared both of our meals with each other. After that we put money in our phones and bought some Magnum ice cream from the store, which is now officially my new favorite.

            Once we got back home, Santiago got ready for the CalaCali party. Basically they are celebrating something like 144 years of the city’s foundation. Santiago plays the big leader drum in the band, so he got all dressed up in a special outfit; it was adorable. His little brother, Efren, also got dressed up to play in the band.

            I had to wait a while before going with Santiago’s brother, Esteban, and his cousin, Cristian around 7:30. We got there just in time to watch Santiago leading his band down the street, playing a very serious “military song”, as Esteban explained to me. There was a procession first of the band then of all different groups in CalaCali. Schools were represented, and families walked down with their children dressed in costumes. It was like Halloween. Some of the children held up candles or homemade lamps with candles inside them. There were fireworks and flags waving around, as well. The older kids were dressed in their school uniforms, which are mostly green because that’s the city’s color.

            After watching the procession of people, we headed back to Santiago’s to eat dinner. As we ate, I looked up several places on Google Earth. I found that my house here didn’t exist a few years ago (Google Earth is outdated), so it’s only a field! Yet I got to show Santiago my house in America, all of my old schools, and my current school. I also quizzed him on the states and on where I lived on the map.

            We then went back to the party in the streets but not before buying Manicho, which is awesome chocolate. We basically just hung out in the street and danced to the band playing on a big stage in the middle of the street. There was a lot of alcohol, drunk dancing, and smoking going on. Several bands also played that night. I was told that there are specific “theme” songs for many cities here in Ecuador. The songs have meaning for the cities, and so each person likes to represent their city. The people of CalaCali definitely have pride in their nationality!

            On Sunday, we went to the Bible study and then to church. I was extremely tired, so trying to focus and understand was quite the task. I wrote down several words that I didn’t understand, and Santiago tried to write down the themes of what the pastor was saying.

            After church, I Skyped with my parents for a little bit, and they asked Santiago about things in Ecuador. After resting for a bit, we took the bus to Juan Carlos’ house, who is a worker at El Refugio, because it was his birthday. I was tired when we got there, so I didn’t do much. I just listened to a lot of conversations for a bit. Then I talked a lot to Willy, who is another facilitator at El Refugio.

            During the party, they sang a bunch of Spanish songs and even a Mexican birthday song before squishing a cupcake on Juan Carlos’ face. Then they put together piñatas and put them outside on a clothes line. They had Juan Carlos, Kevin, and Doug (both interns) hit the piñata, which was pretty hilarious. The sunset was beautiful, as well. It was a nice view from their backyard. Oh, and there is also a tradition in El Refugio to get the birthday person wet. Since we didn’t have a pond, they threw water balloons at him and then dumped a whole bucket of water on him. Not to mention that there is also a tradition here of hitting a person with a belt for as many times as however old they are. Thankfully they didn’t do that one.

            I made friends with Juan Carlos’ kids, who are adorable. One is named Caleb, and he was so precious. He told me to hold his cupcake but “don’t eat it!” while waving a finger at me. Then later when we had to go he told me he was going to miss me and gave me a big hug. It was so sweet! It’s also adorable to hear him talk in English and in Spanish.

            Yesterday was a pretty cultural day, as well. Santiago and I left for Cayumbe around 12 to meet up with Susie and Glenn. We headed to see the bulls, and we passed so many pig heads and people cooking. I read about the bulls in one of my Spanish homework packets, and so I knew about the “kiosks” of people selling food. I also knew about the bulls and drunk people that would try to taunt the bulls. We got to watch three bulls (at different times) being put in the ring and maybe something like one hundred people inside a big ring, holding out colored capes and taunting the bull. He would chase them for a short period of time, but sometimes he would knock a person down and continue to attack him. Many people carried beer and were drinking heavily. We ordered some food (that wasn’t a pig’s head), and it was pretty good. It was $2 for each of us to get meat and these potato pancake-like things.

            After watching for a bit, we went to VBS. I played with some of the littler kids on the swings, while Santiago played soccer with the older kids. They learned more about Paul and being a missionary in their lesson. They sang songs, listened to a story, answered questions, and did a worksheet with a puzzle or coloring page. I played with some of the kids afterwards, and again, there was a beautiful sunset. The Cayumbe volcano could be seen perfectly, and the sky was a wonderful orange and red.

            Today I had Spanish lessons at 12, and it was the most frustrating time of my Spanish here. I felt like I threw everything I was taught out the window as I learned about the differences between imperfect and preterit conjugations. Basically you use different verb conjugations (in Spanish, you conjugate all verbs differently, unlike in English) in the past tense depending on the context or time. It’s an extremely difficult concept that I had a hard time grasping for two hours. We went over rules, and by the time she left, I literally had a headache. After many tears, I took a nap, and now I’m here waiting for Santiago to come. He passed his exams, and so tomorrow I will be attending his graduation.

            Continuing on, I wanted to talk about a little bit about money. On Friday, as Santiago and I were eating our fish, we got onto the topic of money. I always tease him about his love of rice (how Hispanic it is!) because of how much I hate rice. He started to tell me that when he was a child, his family didn’t have rice. They only had soup (which explains his hatred for soup), and so they only ate soup. He started to tear up as he explained to me that he loves rice so much because he wasn’t able to have it as a kid. He also explained that he loves working and being able to work, which I find is something counter to my American culture. In my personal opinion and what I’ve seen in my own culture, not everyone values hard work or enjoys working. It’s simply something you do in order to achieve the dream of “having as much money as is comfortable”. That isn’t much of an option here.

When I asked Santiago about the highest paying job in Ecuador, he told me being a tour guide. I asked, “Not a doctor or something?” He actually laughed at me, telling me that doctors have to spend a ton of time in school and don’t make a lot of money. I would imagine that not many people here have the money to pay for a doctor, but even so, in what I’ve seen, Ecuadorians aren’t fans of medicine and are pretty strong enough to not need it. (They have their magic tea and probably other homemade remedies!)

I asked Santiago what he thought about me and my money. He told me he thinks I spend too much, which is funny because in reality, I spend little compared to other Americans. I’ve been around people who spend hundreds of dollars on shoes and clothes. I don’t think I have ever spent more than $30 (if that) on a shirt or pair of pants. Granted, I have spent $150 on a dress before for prom, but I continue to reuse that dress! Many people in the American culture spend money without even thinking about it or contemplating if it’s worth it. I continually lower my standards for money and question whether it’s worth buying a shirt for $30. I even shop at thrift stores. I bought all my clothes for Ecuador at Plato’s Closet. Nothing I bought was more than $10. All my nicest skirts were like $6 or $8!

So to tell you the truth, I don’t think I spend a lot, but compared to people here and people in other places I’ve been, I spend way more than necessary. Santiago told me he can live off $20, if that, in one month. I can’t live off that in one week. I have to commute to school, and I put $20 in my tank every few days. I try to save money instead of spending, but there are also things that I like to buy and save up for, like MaryKay foundation and getting my hair dyed/cut every so often.

Now let me put this out there now- I don’t think it’s bad to have or spend money. People work hard for their money, and it’s their decision to spend it accordingly. However, I think it becomes a problem when a person doesn’t know how to spend money appropriately or at least doesn’t know how to be grateful for what they have.

I have been to at least two third-world countries (the others were second-world, and I live in a first-world), and I have watched children play with their shoes because they don’t have toys. Here in Ecuador there is money. There isn’t a lot, but there is money. When my parents asked about how people make money, Santiago told them that it’s a lot of agriculture and people selling things in markets or small stores. There are lawyers and doctors and such, but people involved in tourism make the most money.

In America, we are so blessed. I think it’s great that we are able to make as much money as we do, but I think it’s important to not make money central in life. I didn’t come home from those trips thinking, “I have to mail all of my clothes to Africa and take cold showers and give away all of my money”. It would be awesome for someone to do that, but having money doesn’t make us bad people. We are considered a “rich” nation, and even though I make only $90 a week, I am considered “rich” here. It’s funny because if you have a job, you probably make more than that and are laughing that people would think I, of all people, am rich. I only work about four hours a day and make $8 an hour; it’s all I am able to do while being a student.

Now let me tell you what minimum wage is like here. Santiago told me he wants to start working in a carpentry job starting in August. He would work anywhere from 8 to 10 hours a day and only make $10 a day. That is $60 in a week. He’d be working three times as many hours and make $30 less than me. Oh, and let me tell you, that is some hard work. He has to do a lot of hard stuff; all I have to do is spend time with a little girl and make sure she does her daily routine. I cannot even compare to the hard work Ecuadorians do here. What’s more is that he actually likes to work. I like my job, but there are plenty of Americans that don’t. They get paid so much more money to be in an office but hate it. It’s certainly a difference in culture.

People here don’t seem to spend a ton of money on going out to eat or something as simple as getting a pizza. My family and I go out to dinner all the time! It’s normal in our culture because we’re able to do it. I’m sure plenty of Ecuadorians can do it but are probably just happier with staying at home and cooking. My family (in Ecuador) doesn’t go out to eat, but yet they eat some wonderful meals here.

So basically, I’m just writing this to try to understand more about this culture that I’m in and how to be “appropriate” with my money. I saved up for almost a year to get enough money to pay for a plane ticket. Then I spent a few months working to save up money to be able to do things like buy pizza here and go to the movies.

Oh, it’s funny because in both cultures I feel embarrassed sometimes. The other day Angelica came home from shopping and brought the boys boxers. One of the twins was so excited and jumping around saying he now has three pairs of underwear! I was so sad as I looked into my own room, seeing that I have so many clothes, and in my culture, I don’t have enough. I have been around girls that have so much, and I feel embarrassed then sometimes because I don’t have as many nice clothes as they do. How weird that in both situations I’m either embarrassed for having little or embarrassed for having too much. It’s all a cultural thing.

Here I don’t live in this amazingly decorated house, but it’s elegant just in the fact that I have a house with electricity, water (sometimes), and all of the things that I need in a house. I’m writing this so that hopefully you can understand something I’m learning about and learn with me the value in knowing what’s important in life.

I never had a ton of money (compared to other Americans), but I’m now realizing that in my own hands here and at home, I have a lot, and I have to spend it accordingly. That doesn’t mean I can’t go out to dinner with my friends or buy some new clothes (though I have a lot!), but it means to be grateful with whatever I have and am able to buy. THAT is learning about gratefulness.