Your judgments vs. My ACTUAL personality.

(this is an actual sign taken from Doha, Qatar in Iraq, where it is NOT okay to hug. We are not in Iraq, so it is OKAY to hug here in America.)

Yeah, it hasn't even been like an hour, and I'm already writing again. I just have something that I really wanted to say.. and I know that probably no one reads this, but it makes me feel better anyway. I'm so sick of people not understanding me. No, I don't mean like, "I'm so alone in my problems and the world cannot comprehend them." I'm talking about people not getting my personality and not responding well to it. I know that I have certain quirks [[call them flaws, if you will, but I don't]] that certainly can "rub people the wrong way" or however you wanna say it. You know what makes me angry, though? People not taking the time to realize what kind of person I am and the characteristics that I have, and so they judge me based off what they first see.

Yeah, yeah, everybody hates judgment, but I'm talking about people assuming that I like them romantically or assuming that I am like them, so they treat me in ways THEY can handle. Whatever happened to loving someone in the ways THEY need to be shown love? Nobody knows how to do that anymore. I know that I am a culprit of this, but I am trying so hard to be different. I am trying to give people the consideration that they are failing to give me.

Ever since I got to college (PBU), people have not understood my personality. For some people, I just come on too strong.. but that's just how I am. I will not "adapt to YOUR culture" so that YOU will feel comfortable. If you don't like me, well then, your loss, but I will not change my character for you.

Let me point out several things that people constantly (especially ones that have JUST met me recently or at college) judge me on:

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---- 1. "Flirting"-
[[mostly for the guys but both apply]]

Before PBU, I feel that this was not as much of a problem. People seemed to know that I am just a 'flirty' type. People always tell me, "well, Allie, why don't ya tone it down?" Hmm, let me think: NO. You know what? My personality is a type that LOVES people and getting to know them. My way of getting to know them may be different than yours. If you call that flirting, that is YOUR problem, not mine. I do not call what I do flirting. It is my way of getting to know people by being ultimately crazy.

Now, here is the problem: people think that I like someone when I am "flirting" with them. Wrong. I have tried several times to explain this to people upon meeting them, and they STILL get it wrong (which REALLLYYYY frustrates me).

Do you know how many awkward conversations I have had to have where a guy thinks ASSUMES that I like him, and is like, "Allie, can we talk?" So then he brings me to some secluded area so that he can, in his mind, "reject me". Then I sit there, waiting for my turn to talk, to awkwardly "reject him" and tell him that I don't, in fact, like him, and that it is just my personality to be a nut around EVERYONE. From that point on in our friendship, it is always going to be awkward after that because the guy has to make sure he's not "leading me on or anything". THIS HAS HAPPENED AT LEAST SIX TIMES SINCE I HAVE BEEN AT PBU. When I wasn't at PBU? Like NONE!

I treat EVERYONE the same. You want to say that's flirting? Then I apparently must flirt with girls, too, because I treat everyone the SAME. People seem to miss that part about me and just assume that I like every boy on the planet. Listen, call me a flirt, whatever, but I like to have fun, and I pride myself on being crazy.

I know you might have been raised to think that if a girl taps you on the shoulder to ask a question, she's tooootally into you, but I grew up in public school where flirting is a normal occurence. I'm used to it, so I think you should be, too, now.

My case in point: STOP THINKING I LIKE YOU "LIKE THAT". I will do my best not to act like it IF YOU DO YOUR BEST NOT TO THINK IT! If I like you, I WILL TELL YOU. If you like me, TELL ME. I hate relationship games.


----2. "Hanging Out"-
[[mostly for the girls but both apply]]

***GIRLS-

I have recently realized how important spending time with people is to me. A friend brought it up recently that she doesn't understand my idea of "hanging out". I've realized that most people I'm friends with don't. Well, my idea of hanging out usually always involves a sleepover. Why? There are a few reasons. They might seem creepy, but hey, it's time people understand me better.

a. I have NEVER liked sleeping alone. [don't even get me started]
b. I generally sleep better knowing there is someone else with me.
c. In general, I have had sleepovers since I was literally five years old, and I have always been particularly fond of them. I like spending the night with people. --- PROBABLY THE BIGGEST REASON
d. I hate driving home at night.. especially by myself.
e. It's more comforting to me knowing, if I am driving home, that someone is coming with me or that I'm not just going to be spending the night by myself.
f. I get my energy from people... and night time is probably like my best time of day. Therefore, I like to spend it with people.

My case in point: I LIKE SLEEPOVERS. Girls, so you understand now, my way of spending time is having a sleepover. Don't do sleepovers? Then we probably won't click. Make sure I know that in the beginning before we try to plan something.

***GUYS-

Here's something simple....

If I want to hang out with you, it doesn't mean I want to be in a relationship with you. It means I want to spend time with you as a friend because I find you fun! Are we clear on that??

My case in point: JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO HANG OUT DOESN'T MEAN I LIKE YOU ROMANTICALLY.


----3. "Affection"
[[for ALL genders especially]]

So, I meet many people who aren't very "huggy". That's really a shame because, well, I'm Italian, and, well, we hug. I think it is ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS that people think genders shouldn't hug each other.

HEY, WANT TO KNOW SOMETHING COOL? ROMANS 16:16. READ IT.

Even people in the BIBLE recognized the importance of affection. Why don't you?

My love language is, in fact, physical touch. I like to be hugged and held and loved in that way. If you can't hug me, then you can't show me the love. It is as simple as that. Affection is VERY important to me, and if you don't love me enough to be able to give me a simple hug, then, sorry, but you really can't be that close to me. (this is obviously a bit different with pastors and teaches because people get the wrong impression nowadays, which I also think is stupid, because I have hugged teachers and pastors alike. why ANYONE would pervert that is beyond me.)

AND, let me get to that, "WELL, I DON'T WANNA MAKE ANYONE STUMBLE" or "I JUST WANNA HUG MY BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND". Well, in a nutshell, I think both of those comments are totally dumb and irrelevant. Refer back to the Romans 16:16 verse I just showed you. If you stumble from a little hug, then yeah, I REALLY don't want to be close friends with you..

And also, I know how much a hug means. A hug can make or break my day. My day could be so much brighter just because someone took the time to show me love in that way. Yet you think that, at the same time, a hug is THAT much of a "romantic" thing that you need to pervert it and keep it for "holy times"???? Again, that just makes me kind of sick to my stomach.

My case in point: AFFECTION IS A GOOD THING, AND IT'S HOW I FEEL LOVED. ROMANS 16:16. Read it.


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So, in conclusion, those are some of the things that have really been bothering me lately. There are probably so many more, but that's it for now. I hope maybe you've gained a little insight, knowledge, and understanding about people like me and know how to react to them and love/treat them.

Remember this, I'm just a girl in college who loves to write and has no outlet other than writing, at this point. I don't really talk to anyone, and therefore, I don't really get a chance to say these things or nonetheless how I really feel. I've been really flustered at the recent judgments being passed on me, and I wanted to clear them up.

I know people will be people, and judgments will always be passed, but let's not make one of the FREEBIE mistakes here, K?


Thanks. I really appreciate it.


Time for Super Mario Brothers 3.. Mario understands me ♥.