Settling for chips and dip.

"Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial." -1 Corinthians 10:23

My life brings cool analogies.....


So currently I'm eating tortilla chips with this hot dip, and anyone that knows me knows that I cannot stand hot stuff! I don't like peppers, and when I order burritos (my favorite breakfast) at McDonalds, I have to get MILD picante sauce! I hate the feeling of something being so hot that I automatically can't help making a "lemon face" (like I just ate a lemon!).

But right now... I was just hungry and saw tortilla chips. We don't have any cheese dip or anything less mild (I don't like them plain), and after seeing the chips, I really wanted some! SO I decided to eat the chips with this very hot sauce anyway. EVERY time I put the chip in my mouth, it tastes good, but is SO hot that I need to literally take a drink of my apple juice!

Can I just say that this reminds me of my own weakness? I often want things that look REALLY good, but in reality, they probably aren't the best thing for me. I have so many "tortilla chips" in life, but I know if I eat them, it's gonna hurt my mouth! It may, for about ten seconds, taste really good, but then it's just downright painful.



Paul is telling the Corinthians in his letter that everything in life is permissible, meaning that we can access it; it's allowed, and we can very easily just bring it into our lives. YET it's not all beneficial to us. In fact, sometimes it's often better for us to not indulge in it.

For me, tortilla chips & hot sauce is permissible, but it's certainly not beneficial. For a more serious & relative example, relationships are perfect for this analogy! All relationships/friendships are permissible, but definitely not all are beneficial! I think sometimes we want them to be, but we know that they aren't.


As I was praying today about my past relationship, I started to feel discouraged. I knew I made a lot of mistakes in my last relationship, and I was starting to regret it altogether. I think I somehow knew in the beginning that he wasn't the one, but I couldn't seem to help myself to MAKE him be! I knew this relationship couldn't be beneficial, BUT it was like those tortilla chips... they just. looked. so. good.


Janette, a wonderful Christian poet, says this in her poem "I Will Wait For You" [watch it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=igCj3jsbcqs]:


"So it seemed that it was cool for everyone to be in a relationship but me. SO I took matters into my hands and.. ended up with him.. him who displayed the characteristics of a cheater, a liar, an abuser, and a thief. So why was I surprised when he broke into my heart? I called 911, but I was cardiac arrested for aiding in the betting cause it was me who let him in ........ It was already decided for me by the first date that, even if he wasn't, I was gonna MAKE him the one. You know, I was tired of being alone, and I simply made up in my mind that it was about that time, so I decided to drag him along for the ride.. cause I was always the bridesmaid and never the bride ..... See, the bad thing is that I knew he wasn't you [the one] from the beginning."


That relationship seemed 'good' to me in those seven months, but it wasn't until it ended that I realized what a fool I had been. I was trying to make it work because it was what I thought I wanted. It's like a child just starting to glue the unmatched puzzle pieces together to force them to fit. It's actually really hard to break the pieces apart once you force them to work. Then when I had to pull away, it hurt that much worse.

That's another reason for this fast. Janette, in her poem, talks about WAITING for the right man instead of "carbon copies" of him to "appease my boredom or to quench my thirsty desire for attention and short-lived compliments from 'sorta-kindas'". This means no more trying to fit these carbon copies into "the one". I want to actually WAIT for the one. This fast will give me the opportunity to seek less of those "carbon copies" during the worst time period of my lonliness: the time where I'm healing from a recent break up.

Honestly, when I think about it, I'm so lucky that it ended up in a break up. I think about where I could be if it hadnt, and I know I wouldn't be happy, and neither would he. We could've ended up in a miserable marriage. My relationship with God would be suffering, and I would never have had the greatest song writing period of my life! It hurts, but I am very lucky that God kept me from settling.


About a month and a half ago I was cleaning my room when I decided to write a letter to my future husband. Sounds weird, I know, but it actually ended up comforting me. The funny part is that I actually felt GUILTY while writing it! I felt like I was cheating on my future husband with these guys I was currently seeing or talking to. I felt like I was settling for these guys in order to 'appease' my lonliness. I did like them, but right now isn't the right time for any of that.


Celeste told me once that it becomes a bit easier for her when she pictures her wedding day in the future. I, too, like to picture God having a wonderful man picked out for me that will sing with me and with whom I will feel a feeling of certainty that I couldn't feel in those other relationships because he will be the one! I mean, I may NOT have "a one", but it is certaintly worth thinking about and waiting for.


In the meantime, I don't want to settle.
I don't want to settle for chips and dip when there is something so much better for me.


So now that I've forced myself to finish this dip, I think I'm gonna go get some peanut butter...